Fairytales and Realities

I’ve always lived my life in fairytales that it took me a while to realize that it does suck and that even in make believe, women are always on the far receiving end of the bargain when it comes to relationships. Women always have this unparallel and ironic obsession of love, happiness and the so called ever after that it taints their decisions and obscures their realities. It eliminates the essence of free will, the glory of empowerment and dampens the mirth of life in general.

For instance, Sleeping Beauty waited hundred years before her prince charming kissed her spell away. It might have taken him that long to make up his mind if he was willing to commit to putting his life in danger to fight the evil witch just to save the princess.

Cinderella had to change into a beautiful dress and ride a fancy pumpkin carriage with the help of her fairy godmother just to get noticed by her Prince. But it still took him a while to find her---save for that glass shoes which she had to fit in to! Good thing her step sister was not her size or the story could have changed and she would’ve lived forever in the cinders with all her talking animal friends.

Snow White escaped her evil stepmother and had to live with the seven dwarfs in the woods, bitten a poisoned apple before his knight in shining armor came for her and took her to safety.

Even Rapunzel stayed for years trapped in a tower, deprived of her royalty before her prince charming charged to his rescue! And Belle had to stay trapped in a damned kingdom and kiss a beast to earn her prince and her freedom before going back to his father!

While Ariel had to lose her fish scales for legs and leave her sea life and her family behind to be with his Earthly two legged Prince and fit into his world. Well, talk about tradeoffs! Why can’t he join her world instead?

Talking about all these make believe stuff is like talking about the realities of most romantic relationships and of the roles that a man and woman usually takes.

Men always take their time, while women just have to wait. A woman has to fit in to a man’s world and set everything aside to be with him, even endure a lot of struggles to push through for that happy ever after she so longed for. But is it really all worth it?

A woman always has too much to give reaching to a dangerous point of losing herself in the process. Is that fair?

I know men have to slay dragons, kill witches and fight creatures of the dark kind to get the girl and in real life they do it too, although not literally. Figuratively, they have to kill their ego and fight away temptations to really go all the way. But isn’t this ironic? A man’s ego always comes first while a woman go all the way with everything she’s got, surrendering herself and submitting blindly despite every circumstance without hesitations because it’s what she has to do for the relationship and that’s what it takes to finally get hold of that happiness she’s always been dreaming of.

I think there’s something wrong with the picture right there. Doesn’t a woman have a choice to alter her fate without really trying so hard, without losing herself, without really posing as a damsel in distress, without having to endure so much pain and without having to wait like forever?

Really now, I’m starting to hate fairytales the way I hate reality. Reality bites, and so do fairytales. They both suck!

Now I'm asking myself, is this is me kissing my hopeless romantic, enthusiastic and optimistic self goodbye and embracing the cynical and pessimistic? Well then maybe I’m just changing into a more realistic woman, releasing myself from the bonds of heightened expectations, broken promises and empty dreams that always engulfed me. I have lived in fairytales more that my reality has become it.

Below are a few of the things I’ve been pondering on these past few days leading me to all these fairytales vs. realities metaphor.

A man will treat you the way you allow him to treat you. So never let a man define who you are and don’t ever make him feel more important than your own self. You come first, absolutely not him!

If a man wants you, nothing can ever keep him away because if he doesn’t really want you nothing can make him stay. So it’s time we stop making excuses for our man’s behavior but instead use our intuition to save ourselves from more heartache. C’mon, accept it, you can’t ever control him ‘coz the only one you can control in your relationship is yourself.

Living in the world of false hopes and pretentions leads you nowhere. It only makes you feel worse, pathetic and much worst---miserable! You always have a choice. Besides, if it’s really for you, it’s meant to be and it will happen no matter what. Nothing can really stop someone who’s willing to. There shouldn’t be any excuse for someone who really wants to be with you.

But remember to always work with God’s plan, ‘coz your plans may always falter while his won’t. We are just human—weak, fragile and always dissatisfied so we have to always lean on him for strength and for the will to move ahead.

Relationships are hard, they are never too easy. One day everything’s good and the next you wake up in a mess. So stop trying so hard in making things work. If it’s really meant to be, then in God’s perfect time, it sure would.

So, you should stop changing yourself for a relationship, especially if it’s not meant to work. You'll only frustrate yourself. Slower is always better than you go on building castles in the sand. Know that you can never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. You always have a choice between happiness and misery. It’s your call.